Guilty Pain

Studying

2012-01-29T19:35:00.001-08:00

Anyone wondering where I've been at? Looking at my stats - probably not! :D

Anyway all art of mine got pushed to the back burner. For the past months I've been focusing on working on my Exercise Science degree. I'm also testing for Staff this year so I've been studying for that as well. I don't think I'll take a class next semester though since Staff is more important. I make Staff = more money!!!!!111

I'll have more time post May probably.

Progress?

2011-09-17T23:43:00.000-07:00

I wrote about a month ago that I was going to take my site down and leave a placeholder image...didn't happen until today. I'm going to keep my site down until I have enough new artwork to display. I'm also thinking about combining my art and whatever else I do into one site though I don't know if that'll go over so well. My art is something everyone can enjoy. My writing is a whole other story. Hmmm...

Well I decided to go back and try finishing up an old painting! Didn't get too far though!

I was trying to work on the tattoo and it was a lot harder than it looks. It takes a lot of dedication to be a tattoo artist, specifically ones that do irezumi style tattoos. I love the way good tattoos look and always wanted to try drawing in that style. Damn it's as bad as me trying to draw line art. You'd think it was easier except I actually need to form shapes that look like something. Painting? I can just keep stroking blobs until it makes an image.

I have tendinitis in both wrists so you can image how painful all of that was. I had to quit.

It'll get finished one day!

Dreamweaver

2011-09-13T18:49:00.000-07:00

So my lazy ass finally decided to open up Dreamweaver to leave a placeholder image after leaving my site outdated for two years.

How the F**K do I use this?

I even pulled out an old college book just to figure it out. Really, I might just open up notepad and make the page because I still remember how to build websites from scratch.

Prints

2011-09-06T21:24:00.000-07:00

Normally I go to FedEx Kinkos to get my prints done but I'm kind of in the middle of nowhere... So I went to Staples thinking that it'd be of the same quality. I spent $41 there and aside from one of my prints, the most expensive one since I had made a poster out of it to hang up in my dorm...they all looked like shit. I actually forgot to make a 8x10 print of the one I made a poster out of so I figured that I'd just do it at Wal-Mart since I was going there to print out photos. I did the instant print thing which was kind of dumb since it was more expensive but I wanted to be in control of my prints.

You wouldn't believe it but the art print I did there actually came out REALLY GOOD. O_O Screw you Staples, doing my art prints at Wal-Mart! ...As messed up as that sounds.

I was looking at some wall decor there and they had some that had some good lines but I didn't like the art. I'm going to draw my own wall decor!

Digital Age

2011-08-14T20:49:00.000-07:00

It's so artistic! You can't tell whether he's happy that there's a butterfly or if he thinks the shiny meteor that's about to land is pretty!

It's been forever since I've made a website so I'm looking at Dreamweaver like...WTF. I've noticed that Blogger has since incorporated a way that you can make pages to connect to your blog, sort of like a mini website. ...SOOOOO I've realized that in the mean time while I try to fix up my website I might as well use this blog as a mini website. And...I better hurry up with my website thing because I do pay for the domain and whatnot every year. Just like my premium deviantart membership that I haven't been using!

I've been creating websites since Geocities...you know shitty templates and whatnot. Back then you were a guru if you knew HTML. I was in middle school, I took the damn time to learn all the codes to make websites. That was before the days of when social networking sites like Myspace and Facebook got big where now everyone can easily just make their own little page. Back then we actually had to...CREATE things. Brings me back to the days of when internet started incorporating real life drama into the internet world when Xanga became big. Now that there's facebook and its all over. I've found Facebook to be an extremely cheap way of communicating. Well I had a very good reason to delete it. It's such a cheap way to deceive others. And I was deceived greatly. More than once! Now I make it a little harder for people to contact me. Yeah, they actually got to call me, text me, or GOD FORBID speak to me in person!

Well in this blog I generally want to only post my art but this is relating to the digital world so I might as well speak about it. I'll just say its amazing how much I don't get asked out on dates anymore BECAUSE I don't have a facebook. When I started out making websites and got my livejournal back when I was 14 I thought I was cool because I was different. Never did I think there would come a time when boys were able to hide behind their computers to the point they're afraid to actually talk to a female. There was a guy who only spoke to me through Facebook or by text message yet never spoke to me in real life. Classy guy, always invited me to his place to "watch a movie." Of course I never went.

Anyway back to the subject I'm going to close down my website this week and alter things. Mostly go back to my old alias. I went by "Chalon" to be androgynous because I didn't want to be judged by my looks or by being a female. I never connected with this persona too well though. I'll go back to being "Mika!" :D But you know how much that sucks? Now I got to go back and re-sign all my old paintings that I signed with my other alias. UGHHHH. Well "Guilty Pain" will never change!

U|\|!k0r|\|$

2011-07-28T22:47:00.000-07:00

Despite how I may appear on the outside with my love for red lipstick and dark clothing I'm actually a fan of bright florescent colors. I really need to get around to closing down my site for construction but I'm trying to quickly illustrate a nice simple image to leave up in the mean time. I need to change the dark look of this blog too. Yes I'm working on bright ass shiny images.

I'm gonna draw unicorns today because unicorns are epic.

I know I can draw anything but I just specialize in certain subjects more. I've never drawn a unicorn before. This is my first attempt, could be better but I got a lot more practice ahead coming. I know my art can be way more diverse which is why I've been bitching forever about wanting a better portfolio. I kind of also never get around to finishing my pictures too... The unicorn is blind-folded and its a reference to an Olivia song "Blind Unicorn" ;)

This one was actually getting done really quick. Till I got to the red stuff and realized I should've colored that first. Back then when I painted with photoshop I used to make a separate layer for everything that had a different color which led to about 500 different layers a painting. Since I took a magical traditional art class and painted for the first time I decided to start applying that to my digital art and I only draw subjects on one layer. Usually my background will be on a different layer just to make things easier. Now I only make separate layers just to document the process of making the painting.

I need to finish pictures and start designing my site!

Marielle + Pierce

2011-06-06T21:55:00.000-07:00

Back when I was a kid I was like any other nerd out there and made up characters and dreamed to make some comic book or anime or something. Now that I'm heading into my mid 20's...I think I'll just stick to illustrating or drawing short comic strips.

I drew this in my English class back in 10th grade. Shitty progress now considering how a lot of teens these days have access to digital art and got a head start unlike me. :( But this was back in 2002 when I still only drew traditionally! Although I look at this picture and look at it like it looks like shit now it's amazing that art can bring people together. I was obviously not paying attention in English class and the whole class stopped just to watch me draw this. I was putting finishing touches on the line art in my math class (I was not thinking about college back then :D) and the SHYEST girl in class opened up to me because she liked my picture so much. WTF.

I was in an advanced art class Senior year of high school and drew this for my portfolio back in 2003. Also note the drastic difference in my art style. During 10th grade I was trying to get into the advanced art class only seniors could get into. I showed the art teacher my portfolio (which was more like the first picture) and she put it in the nicest way possible... I knew how to color and I definitely had good art techniques that could be improved to be even better...but I had to stop drawing f*cking anime. Granted she let me in anyway and obviously I took her advice.

Both characters just started off as pretty pictures I wasn't intending to give any back story to.

I revived Marielle's character back in 2005 while looking through my old drawings (the one above) and saw that she had a pretty cool design and took it further.

This was prior to giving her a personality. Not a bad picture considering I at first drew this traditionally then scanned it...then colored it in photoshop WITH A MOUSE. Then I go and f*ck it up with horrible filters. Sad because obviously the art isn't that amateruish but I give away the biggest sign of a photoshop amateur. OMFG FILTERS!!11

I was writing some horror story and she was going to be the psycho bitch with split personalities. Quickly scrapped that idea though because then that would require me to actually think of writing a good story.

I then decided to base her personality on...me. I made her an ice queen. A lot of times artists make up some character that semi looks like them but an ideal version. I draw some characters that look sort of myself but I don't base my personality off them. I decided to give my personality to her so I wouldn't feel so Mary-Sue ish. :D

Well unfortunately I don't have several pictures sculpting Pierce's character but I was looking through my portfolio and decided to revive him as well and make him her best friend. In high school I was best friends with a guy who was really pretty and I was the ice queen a lot of guys wanted to talk to but were too intimidated to. Many were jealous of our friendship and mistook us as lovers a lot since they saw that I would actually be open and show emotion when I'm around him. In reality my best friend was gay. He went on to become some model. I ended up in the military. WTF. So I'm using the same concept with Marielle and Pierce. Noticeably Marielle doesn't look pissed off in the above picture.

I always meant to paint a picture of the two together. This was back in 2007 when I finally got a wacom tablet and was trying to teach myself how to digitally paint. This seriously took about two weeks of me trying to figure out how to work painting with a tablet. Then as you can tell I gave up.

BUT nearly four years later I'm enlightening the idea of painting a picture of the two together!

I started this back in March and like most things I draw THEY NEVER GET FINISHED...until months later.

I didn't use any reference for Pierce's face here but then I needed to look up reference for how I was going to color his face.

So then he becomes all girly after I decide to reference a Keita Tachibana picture. =/ I like his old face better but I'm not gonna repaint it. I'm going to cover his body with tattoos. Now my only problem is finding reference of a good full body tattoo.

Friday Night

2011-05-13T22:13:00.000-07:00

How am I spending my Friday night?

Painting epaulets. I love those old formal military uniforms with the fancy epaulets on them...there is no easy way out of painting them though. :(

Practice

2011-03-06T18:18:00.000-08:00

I think I might be done with all the training I need for now meaning I can spend some time working on new artwork since i think everything currently posted on my site that was done two years ago...sucks. That's the amazing thing about being an artist, you get better with time and realize all your old art looks like crap.

I've been working on this piece...been working on and off on it for a year now. Not that it took that long but I really didn't have the time to sit down and work on it. I'd say I'm almost done, still have some finishing touches to do.

I renewed my domain and after I have enough new artwork I'll start redesigning my site!

2010 Artdump

2010-11-23T02:35:00.000-08:00

Its 330AM, I'm eating a taco, and I decide "Hey why don't I update my artblog!"

After I got my degree in Digital Design last year I decided it was best for me to take a break from the art world. It's so easy to get discouraged doing something you've done your whole life and not only that...to be in Seattle and be surrounded by artists. I was on a higher level than a lot of them, but many were also on a higher level above me. It wasn't only that...I was starting to loose interest. I recall in one of my classes I took before I graduated, I didn't even try. I managed to get a 2.0 in the class and was easily the worst student.

Since then I've taken a year and a half off art drawing things here and there in between.

The following are some paintings I was working on. Most of them are never going to get finished. Haha! I guess when I started out as a kid I drew whatever I saw. Then I'd have to admit...I got into anime and that kind of hindered my art for a while. There's nothing wrong with anime but it was more cartoonish and rather than illustrating things I was just drawing characters on a white piece of paper. I started getting back on the illustration side around junior/senior year of high school.

I think more than anything right now rather than trying to jump and do huge illustrations I'm still trying to better my coloring skills. I recall the only traditional art class I took in college. I tried so damn hard and kept getting C's, D's, and even one F in that class. I did not like the abstract crap we had to draw and at least after I walked out that class everyone else was lost on why I got such a low grade. I did learn one valuable thing from that class though through traditional painting. Light and dark. And I now that I finally grasped that concept I try to put it in my art.

My most recent painting I'm working on. I don't know, I'm not really liking the way the skin is coming out. I need to find new brushes to work with. Will I or won't I finish this?

I was stuck on a midnight shift so I wasn't seeing anyone and once I got off work I was pretty much by myself. So I was sad...so I drew a sad picture... Sadly two days later after drawing this I find out my brother died. My brother and I were both going through issues and prior to drawing this I recalled speaking to him about our problems and our insecurities in relationships. I felt really bad that prior to speaking to him he tried to call me two times before but rather than giving him my time I valued my sleep more. I thought he was okay and being my oldest brother I thought he was strong and I could always depend on him. I didn't think of it the other way around, what if he needed someone? So every time I see this picture I think of him.

Trying to work on my line art skills. I was trying to do the whole dramatic shading with black thing but it didn't come out right. But I still have the base colors. I think I'll actually finish this one.

I want to take down my site and leave a picture up so I've been trying to draw a nice image to leave there for a couple months. Well this one didn't make the cut.

Neither did this one. I liked the colors but I was also trying to do something new and I don't like the way it came out. It looked too cartoony for me.

You know you have the artist mindset when someone is breaking up with you yet all you can think of is "Man this is XXXXed up! It'd make a nice picture though!" I was getting ready to go out to a friend's birthday and I wanted to get some shit figured out with someone I was seeing at the time before I got ready. He ended up taking too damn long so I got dressed up. So here I was looking cute in a nice little dress getting beaten down by his words. Ugh. Well the positivity I found out of that is that I still think it'd make a nice illustration! I'll finish this someday!

Wanted to paint something happy. Then I realized I got a long way to go with backgrounds. I'll finish this one day too. I see a lot that I could do with the colors. Effing colors. They make or break a picture no matter how good the concept may have been.

I then got this idea that I'd draw this girl in every season. Well looks like I didn't have the time for that.

I was playing a lot of Dynasty Warriors at the time...

I drew a similar picture of this character in the past but the coloring looked amateurish (to me) so I wanted to work on another. I like it, will finish this in the future.

I'm happy that I somewhat learned how to draw noses. For now I'll work on fixing up my females before I work on drawing males. I'm ready to get back into drawing again. I'll be able to do so sometime next year. But right now I don't have the time to sit down and work on something till completion. :(

Slowly

2010-09-13T17:13:00.000-07:00

Working on a self portrait. It's always amazing how crappy an artpiece will look at first until you keep working on it till you mold it into something pretty.

...I need a lot of new art before I update my site though.

I've been learning new techniques since I'm trying to learn how to paint more realistic while still keeping somewhat of my own individual cartoony look. (Like say Kentaro Miura for example.) I created a logo too!

Well hopefully I'll have my site revamped by the end of the year.

ALIVE

2010-06-01T11:39:00.001-07:00

It's been almost a year since I last posted anything in here. I haven't drawn much throughout the past year due to my whole ditching art as my main career thing and doing something else. I've been really busy but I can't wait to finish everything so I can get back to drawing as a side career at least. Drew more chicks to see if I still I had the skill. Both are unfinished and hopefully will be finished whenever I get the time.

This was supposed to be a full body piece but after making a preview image I realized I erased the other piece. Ugghhh.

An attempt to better my more realistic coloring. Still got a ways to go!

Hiatus

2009-08-10T19:01:00.000-07:00

Well its been months since I last updated and it'll probably be even more months after when I update this site again. I really want to draw more but with my new day job on the way the training for it and such won't allow me to.

I'll be sure to post up here once I get the chance to though!

Thanks!

In Process

2009-05-17T23:03:00.000-07:00

I've started working on my online portfolio. I had another picture in mind for the cover page but decided not to use it (but it will be drawn some other time.) It was another somber piece that I had in mind but realizing that all I've been drawing is depressing stuff lately... I needed something that seemed a little cheerful. The sketch is more cheerful than I intended it to be. I want this illustration to look passionate. Being the same two characters in a previous drawing that's another OMGSAD drawing I decided to draw them in happier times.

Think of Backgrounds First!

2009-05-16T16:27:00.000-07:00

I think this picture is going to end up like my last two paintings. I have a great idea down...yet I don't know what to do with it because I didn't think of what I wanted the background to be before I drew it. Not to mention the dress isn't coming out as pretty as I thought it would. It should be done by the end of this month though.

I'm finally done with this picture. What happened here was that I had no idea what I wanted the background to be (AS USUAL!) and I went with a staircase. I think I started drawing this back in August of last year yet I didn't get it finished till now.

I don't remember when I began working on this. But I also had the whole background problem again. Didn't know what to do with it. I decided to not give this picture a background because I think the painting looked good on its own.

Other than that I have to get up the website before the end of the month as well so I'll be working on some graphics for that. I have a nice painting in mind that I want to paint for it (AND I HAVE A BACKGROUND IN MIND TOO!) So hopefully I could get that done by the end of the month as well.

I bought a copy of Imagine FX and if I actually had a permanent address I'd just get a subscription since its an excellent magazine. I finally got around to using the disc it came with and it actually had trial MAC versions of Photoshop and Painter! Just what I need! I ordered the mac versions of the Adobe Design Creative Suite CS4 and Corel Painter XI but I have to wait a couple weeks for those to get here. So the trial versions will tide me over.

Been a while

2009-04-12T14:46:00.001-07:00

I'll be launching my art site next month. I already bought the domain and right now am just thinking of an image I want to draw since I won't be able to build the site till later.

I decided to do a painted version of a character on the right. The above will just be the under construction picture when it gets finished but I do plan on making that one nice big illustration complete with a background and everything for the final version!

That reminds me that I never even got around to making this blog look pretty! Well if not this month it'll be next month definitely.

Just a little more

2009-01-04T01:32:00.000-08:00

BEFORE

AFTER

I have a little more to go. I have to paint the background and add final shadows on the people. Probably be done with this in two more days. Except I have to put this on hold again. Gah got prior obligations and I can't put them on the backburner!

First Post

2008-12-11T20:25:00.001-08:00

Wow I'm aware the layout is just generic and looks bad at the moment but I'll fix it up when I have the time! I've been busy lately and haven't even had time to work on any of my own projects. :(

Before I graduate I want to make sure I have much more great illustrations in my portfolio so I might just hold off taking that class till the last quarter before I graduate. The following are two projects I can't wait to finish.

Two timin'!

HAHAHA! I forgot that I drew this! I was probably 70% done with the picture till I forgot about it. It looks like it'll look great whenever I get to finish it.

Painted version!

And I wanted to do a painted version of this character. I think its coming out really great and will be the best painting I've done all year...whenever I get to finish it. :(

Though I wish I would've known about student discounts earlier. I got six months to save up money and buy everything I can as a student. I'm going to finally buy The master collection of Adobe CS4. I'm still using CS. (Though I still know people out there using Photoshop 7!) Well I'm still good with the photoshop I'm using, but I don't have Flash or Dreamweaver. Ugh. I also want to get an iMac so I can be good with PCs and Mac but then I have to go separately buy the Adobe programs. ...;__; I think I'll just stick with PCs for now and go buy the premium Creative Suite program for the next Photoshop update that comes out.

One thing that sucks is how they come out with a new version each year. I've missed taking this one class I need to take to graduate since last summer. I ended up buying a CS2 version of the book and ended up buying a CS3 version of a class that got canceled on me earlier this year and will finally take it this quarter...but now I have to buy the CS4 version of the book. And I can't just sell the books back either - I tried selling one of my photoshop books after the quarter ended and I was only offered 2 dollars for it. O_O